He loves her...

When Cadence was around 18 months old, I started getting the itch to try for another baby. We were happy as a family of three, but I always knew I wanted to have more than one child. I also never felt like we were "complete" as a family. Due to different issues (including a devastating miscarriage that led to the start of this blog, Henry did not come into our lives until February 25, 2008.

He and Cadence are just shy of being 4 years apart. Being 4 years apart and being male and female, I did not expect them to be so close. However, they are incredibly close! I've had people make comments on how I probably wished my son was first so he could protect my daughter. Are you kidding me? First of all, I have no doubt that Cadence will hurt anyone who attempts to hurt her brother! Secondly, she has been a miniature mommy since the minute he was born (she was present for his birth).

Over the events of the last year, I feel like they have grown even closer. Four months ago they started sharing a room and they love it. It is rare that Cadence complains about not having anyone to play with or not being able to play with Henry. As much as Cadence adores Henry, he worships her. Our route to school and work is set up where Cadence is dropped off and picked up first. On the few occasions that Henry and I did not pick Cadence up immediately after I picked him up, Henry has cried for his sister.

Today, I took Cadence to my aunt's house to spend the night with her cousin. When it was time to leave, we said goodbye to Cadence and went out to the car. Henry started saying "Cadence in there mom" over and over as if he though I was forgetting her. The whole drive home he alternated between crying for Cadence and reminding me that we left her there. Once we got home, he was very melancholy. Throughout the evening, right up until he fell asleep, he kept asking "Where's Cadence?". I feel bad for him because I know he is so sad with her being gone. But it is also good for both of them, because they need to get to do their own things too. At the end of the day, it warms my heart to know how close my kiddos are. I love knowing that no matter what happens in their lives, they have each other. I can only hope that they continue to be as close and stay close as adults.

Creative Christmas

This Christmas, I really wanted to do alot of creating with the kids. All three of us love crafts and I wanted to start some new, "just the three of us" traditions. I am really happy to say that we actually accomplished it this year.

First, we created our own Christmas ornaments. Henry's first Christmas, I did not put ornaments on the tree because I knew I would be putting them back on every day! I just used plain white lights and fell in love with the simplicity of the look. I have not used ornaments since then, but this year I wanted to add something special and of course, create. The kids and I got a book of Martha Stewart scrapbooking paper and our cookie cutters and made ornaments. We all loved the end result and everyone got to contribute. Please excuse the picture being sideways, I can't get blogger to act right!



Next, I knew I wanted to do some type of small, easy and inexpensive gift for a large group of people in our lives. These people (Henry's daycare teachers, Cadence's after-care staff, women I work with) are all individuals who help us on a daily basis and I am so thankful for them all. I really struggled on how to show then we care without breaking our budget. I finally stumbled across this article and knew this was perfect for us. Here is what we came up with.


To go along with the magnets, I wanted to write a note to tell the recipients how thankful we are to have them in our lives. Over the last couple of years, I have accumulated a ton of Christmas cards. However, they have disappeared since we moved! So instead of buying cards, we made some with our left over scrapbook paper and cookie cutters.

We also did a couple of baking projects!

Things to Remember

Here are some of the cute things the kids are doing right now that I know I may not remember later:

• Henry has a speech delay, so instead of being at a 2 1/2 level, he is at between an 18 months and 2 year old level. One of the areas he struggles with are pronouns. So when he wants me to hold him, he asks "I hold you?". He also adds his name on top of the pronouns when he does use them. The other morning, Henry caught Chandler (our terrier) sleeping on his bed. His response: "Chandler, get off my Henry's bed." Its so stinkin' cute!
• When we get home for the evening, I put my pajamas (some combo of sweats and a shirt) and Cadence will come and ask me what I am wearing, so that she can put on similar clothes. Then she goes through all of her stuff to find what matches my comfy clothes as closely as possible.
• Tonight, Henry kept yelling for something and I could not figure out what he was asking for. Honestly, it sounded like he was saying "my bitchy"! Finally Cadence came running in because she knew exactly what he was asking for, his fishy.
• Cadence grew up calling my sister "Sissy", thanks to my grandma getting confused about which of us she was talking to! It was confusing for Henry because he calls Cadence "Sissy". So, now he has started calling my sister "Sissy Livia".
• Henry calls his mittens his "soccers" because he wears them to Cadence's soccer games. When I picked him up from daycare the other day, he saw an airplane in the sky. He then started asking the airplane, "Land in my soccers?" and holding his hand out!
  

Attention!

Early on in Cadence's kindergarten year, we noticed she had some attention issues. We were noticing some issues at home, but I chalked it up to being five years old and a drama queen. At her first Parent Teacher conference, the teacher brought it to our attention that she had some problems staying on task, paying attention and getting her work done in a timely manner. At first this was a shock to me. I was used to getting glowing reports about how smart and sweet she was. I even resented the teacher a little bit. As the year progressed, and the issues began to affect her school work, we scheduled more meetings with the teacher the counselor and a screening. By this point I knew what the screening would tell us: ADHD.

One of my best friends is a Pharmaceutical Rep for the company that manufacture's Vyvanse, the new ADHD wonder drug. She has more knowledge than alot of doctors do about ADHD and was able to help me comprehend this new battle. For Cadence, all of her issues deal with attention. She has no hyperactivity. I started doing my own research on ADHD in girls and was horrified by what these girls can go through if their symptoms are not acknowledged and treated. Low self-esteem, risk taking behavior (including drugs and sexual risks), and more. We decided to work on some coping skills over the summer and see how first grade started.

The summer went very well, but of course, she wasn't in a classroom, being forced to pay attention! Within the first week of first grade, Cadence was coming home crying and telling me she was afraid she was going to get held back. One of the hardest (and also best) parts of this issue, is that Cadence knows she has a hard time paying attention. She knows that she struggles with this and it hurts her that she does. She and I both cried alot the first weeks of school. Early on, spelling tests started. Spelling tests are a nightmare for a kid who has a hard time paying attention. They have to pay attention to hear the word, keep it in their brain long enough to sound it out and write it down and then re-focus immediately to try again. Add to this that Cadence is doing this in Spanish and you have a very frustrated Momma and kiddo!

ADHD doesn't look the same in every kid. In fact, some of the people closest to Cadence (both grandmothers included) were shocked at the diagnosis. Here is what ADHD looks like in my daughter. She's a daydreamer, she constantly wonders into her own world. She frustrates incredibly easily and tears come regularly. She does not listen unless actively engaged. You cannot just start talking to her and expect that she will retain any information. You have to make eye contact with her and get her engaged before her "ears turn on". When she is able to focus, she hyper-focuses. Her favorite is movies. When she is really focused on a movie, you have to physically break her concentration. With all of this comes struggles, but she can also do some really cool things. She can hear a song one time and know all the words and the melody. She knows the scientific names for every animal baby there is (I don't even know where she learned this!). Many times, kids with ADHD score lower in class or on tests and get labeled as not as smart as other kids, but in reality, many of them are very intelligent.

Cadence and I have been working to find some things that help her this year, but spelling tests have still been a struggle. After much soul searching and dealing with my own issues on this diagnosis, I have opened up to trying some medicines to help her with her attention issues so that she can really be at her best. We are not yet on a medicine, but have started the process. But, last week we had a huge reason to celebrate! In her class, the children take a practice spelling test on Thursday and the real test on Friday. If you get a 10 out of 10 on Thursday, you don't have to take it on Friday. Only 5 words are given on Monday to study with the kids and the other 5 come from phonic sounds they work on in class. So there is really no way to memorize the words. They really have to learn them. Last week, she got a 10 out of 10, on THURSDAY! I could not have been more proud of her and she was incredibly proud of herself. That moment made all the struggles, frustration and nights of trying to help her learn words I can barely pronounce (the words are in Spanish, remember?) worth it!

Back in the Saddle

Over the past year, I have gone through alot of changes within my life. None of them were easy changes to make and some of them broke my heart. However, each change I've made has a common theme, gaining control of my life. Now that (almost) all of those changes have been made and finalized, I feel so happy and calm. I got tired of not being able to do the things I wanted to or being envious of other people's lives. Knowing that I am the only one who can affect the daily life that my children and I lead is incredibly freeing. There are obviously those people that could throw some wrenches into things, but I have learned to not let their actions affect me.

Enough of the emotions, I have always loved reading blogs and am very jealous of a few friends who have created (and keep updated) great blogs that I enjoy reading. With that in mind, I am back in the saddle of blogging. I wish I had blogged more over the last year, but its probably best that I didn't because I don't like airing dirty laundry and the last year would have been alot of that! I'm looking forward to being able to look back and relive this time with my kiddos as we navigate our new life...

New things are a comin'

For the last four weeks, I have been doing something that I was honestly not sure I would ever do while my kids were young. I have been looking for a full time, 8-5 job. I have been working 3 jobs from home, but it was just not cutting it. At first, I came to the decision to pursue a full time job because of necessity. I was so terrified of this. Once I came to the decision that it had to be done, no ways around it, I have felt alot of peace about it. When I was younger (before I had kids), I always said there was nothing wrong with daycare. I started daycare myself when I was 6 months old and stayed until 10 years old. I enjoyed it and made my oldest friend there. I have no bad memories of day care. But when my first child was born, my thoughts changed. I just did not see how I could do it. This mental block has kept me from doing what has probably needed to be done for a long time. I am glad to be over it!

I have been actively applying for jobs for 3 weeks now. Unfortunately with my degree, you really need to have a Master's to be able to do the things you dream of doing when you are an undergrad, so that was kinda a shock to my system. (I won't even start on how my advisor and professors failed to mention this!). I had an interview last week for a job that I basically had, but it was just not a good fit for my life right now. It is a great job and so needed, but not for me. It was hard for me to let the job go though, because it was the only one I had even heard back from! This week I got an interview for a different job within the same organization and 5 mins into the interview, I knew this job would be great for me! When I left, they told me I should hear on a second interview, if I got one, in a week. That night, I checked my email to find that I got a second interview for the same week! I am beyond excited and hope this means that they were as pleased with me as I was with the opportunity. I am secretly hoping that they offer me the job on the spot on Friday, but I know that is probably far from realistic.

Even though a year ago, I never would have forseen the changes I am going through and definitely would not have seen them as something I am looking forward to or even enjoying, I am. God is great and I have never felt closer to Him than I do right now. I feel 100% confident that I am on the right path and taking the right steps. I know the big changes have just started and will get harder to handle, but I am ready. BRING IT ON!

Now I am struggling with my child care situation, but I know that this will also work out the way it is supposed to. I believe that God knows our life before we live it and I just have to have faith and stay focused on Him and simply live. Its odd to be content while living with a lot of turmoil, but that is a very apt description of how I feel right now. I also have never realized what incredible people I have in my life. I am so blessed that I cannot even believe it sometimes!

Here's hoping for an "I got the job!" post in a couple of days...

The Kitchen I was standing in...

I happen to be reading a friend's blog, who has my blog on her page, when I noticed I had not updated in 5 weeks! How did that happen? I have had at least 5 blog ideas but obviously they never got done. Some of them I will still write about, and some I won't. For those of you that follow me on Facebook, you probably know that in the last couple of days, something is up with me. While I am not ready to discuss specifics, there are alot of changes happening in my life right now. Big decisions are being made and I need all of the prayers I can get right now! If you don't know me personally, I don't like change. I think things to be the same day in and day out, I love knowing what to expect the next day, and I have a really hard time handling things if they don't turn out they way I had pictured them in my head. Needless to say, change is HARD for me. I am hurting right now and trying to to one foot in front of the other. I am thankful for the wonderful people in my life and am happy that even 1 person reads my blog! I promise to have a better update soon, as well as posting about some blessings that have come my way recently, I may even explain the title of this blog. Thanks in advance for the prayers!

Answers to Prayers

Have you ever prayed and prayed about something, feeling like God wasn't answering you, and then you wake up one day and realize he has been telling you what to do and you haven't been listening? What was I praying about? Money, finances, stability. I currently have two jobs, both work at home. One is a non profit job that I love with my heart and soul, but there is just not money in it and it has slowly become a volunteer job. The second one is a very cool job with a local child welfare agency, writing profiles on children eligible for adoption through the state. This job is a contract job and I only get paid when the file is done, which takes about 6 weeks. I love both of these jobs and am thankful to get to do them, but there is just no money there, literally right now! So, I've been asking God for guidance on what to do next. Should I get an 8-5 job, put my son in daycare and just be miserable? Should I go back to teaching and make very little money for my time? (Nothing wrong with teaching, but I could only get a job at a Preschool, because I am not certified and Preschools don't pay).

All the while I have been thinking about all of this, I have also been wishing that I had a business. Something that I was in control of and loved to do. My mind kept going back to Arbonne. Back in 2007, I signed up to be a consultant with Arbonne. The week I signed up, I had a miscarriage. I really lost my drive after that. Shortly after that I got pregnant with Henry, and life just got busy. However, it has always been in the back of my mind. It is such a great company, with great, natural products and their compensation plan tops any other Network Marketing Company out there! I just kept thinking, God, I don't want to sell stuff. But you know what I did? I applied for a work at home job in advertising sales! I did not get it, because I have no experience in advertising, but one day it hit me: I was willing to work selling something for someone else, but not for myself? DUH!

So I contacted my close friend, Krystal, who recruited me to Arbonne originally. What a God thing it was because she had been thinking about the same things as I had and just told her husband about it! The more I let myself think about it and believe it, the more I realized that God had been smacking me upside the head with it! What it finally came down to for me was this: My kids are worth it. Why was I letting other people dictate how much money I made? How much work I had? I am jumping in feet first and ready to go! I know it will be hard, and it will take time. But this company has proven over and over again, that if you work, you will reap the benefits! In the book, The Millionaire Club, Maureen Mulvaney wrote about the success of 21 females who earn as much as $20 million a year through home based businesses. Three of these women are with Arbonne. Can you believe it? Those are some great odds.

If you are interested in talking with me about how you can change your life with Arbonne, hear about the products, or book a party leave me a comment! Is your success in your hands? Mine is!

Duckie

Yesterday, we went to say goodbye to our good friend Duckie, Donald Broughton. Duckie was killed when his motorcycle hit an SUV head on, late Friday night/early Saturday morning. Angela Halford, who was a passenger on Duckie's bike, was also killed. They were in an unfamiliar area and got turned around, and ended up going the wrong way on the highway. He was laid to rest on Wednesday, September 3rd. Duckie was one of my husband's best friends. He left behind a 2 year old son and Angela had twin daughters. It is such a tragedy. They were both in their mid 30's.

Through dealing with Duckie's death, I have also had to almost re-live the death of my father, when I was six years old. There are many similarities between my father's car accident and Duckie's, and it has been really difficult for me to know that Duckie's son will never know his dad. It will be up to his mother, as well as Duckie's parents, to keep his memory alive for him. This is not nearly as easy as a task as one might think. Now that I am grown, I have realized that my dad's family did not talk about him often because it was just too painful. While I now understand this, it was hurtful when I was younger because I wanted to talk about him. I wanted to know every memory. Even at six years old, I really only had a handful of my own memories of him. Thankfully, my mom, my aunt and some close friends helped me to keep his memory alive in my heart and let me know what kind of person he was. His boss at the time of his death wrote me a letter about what kind of person he was. This letter is so precious to me! I have asked my husband and our friends to do the same for Duckie's son, for when he is older.

My prayers are with his family and his son's mother every day. This is the type of thing you never get over, you just keep moving forward. His mother is very young, and this is not an easy burden to carry. Not just parenting by yourself, but parenting a child without a father, keeping his memory alive, etc. I have new found respect for my mother in all of this. When my dad died, they had been divorced for not long at all, so there was still alot of love between them. My mom had also lost her father almost a year to the day before, and she was still reeling from that. Suddenly she had to raise a daughter with very few father figures in sight. She had to make sure that despite my dad's death that I was still well rounded and loved. She was also only in her late 20's when this happened. She got divorced, lost her father, and her ex-husband in less than 3 years. My mom is not perfect, but I don't think she could have done anything better than how she handled things. Between her and my grandma, I never doubted that I was loved and was the most important person in the world to them. If Duckie's family and his son's mother, can do half as good of a job as my mother did, they will be fine!

If you are interested in helping raise money to assist Duckie's family with the costs of the funeral, and to help set up a college fund for his son, please contact me at crleegrl at aol dot com. I hope you hold your loved ones tight tonight, I know I will! Duckie, you always made me feel special!

Swagbucks

I am always looking for new ways to save and/or make money. I work from home, which allows me to be able to go to school events, drop off and pick up my daughter from school, etc. This is very important to my husband and I so along with my 2 part time work at home jobs, I make it my full time job to save as much money as possible in every way I can. I am also always looking for ways to make money at home. I discovered Swagbucks earlier this year and really love it. It is a search engine powered by Yahoo and Google. When you search, you can earn Swagbucks. These rack up pretty fast and you can redeem them for prizes, gift cards, and now even paypal money! I have heard of many people getting lots of bucks in a short period of time. I know one blogger who used Swagbucks to purchase a Wii (by redeeming for Amazon Gift cards).

Also, when you recruit others to Swabgucks and they sing up through you, you get points for all of the Swagbucks they win! If you would like to try it out, click below to sign up and you will also help me earn points. Then you can get others to sign up under you and get even more points. I added a Swagbucks search bar to my home page so that I can just search and not have to go to the main page. Its a great way to earn money and prizes for doing what you would normally do anyway! Happy Searching!

Terrible 2's

When my daughter (now 5) was my son's age (18 mos), I had someone tell me that the "Terrible 2's" actually start at 18 months and last until 3 yrs old. We some how skipped this with the Princess. She was (practically) born talking and had full sentences at 18 mos of age, so there was very little of the frustration that seems to lead to the terrible 2's. She was also a totally different kind of kid than the Prince is. She never really had terrible 2's, but she had what we termed the "Fearsome 4's". This stage was mainly her testing us, testing boundaries, bedtimes, talking back, asking why 300 times a day, etc. So I was unprepared for the Prince's head first jump into the terrible two's.

A large part of my son's terrible twos seems to be his lack of language. He has some words, but seems unable to use all of them at once. It goes in phases, although his first "real" word (used correctly all the time) was thank you. It was really cute and since we push manners pretty hard around here, it seemed fitting. However, now he has lost thank you and hasn't gained many other words. So his main form of communication is pointing, grunting and stomping his feet! Let me tell you, its a fun stage!

The other characteristics of the terrible twos he has started is throwing things and climbing. And the other day, he put both of these together to climb on top of the glass coffee table and throw things off and downward on the glass. I had a small heart attack when I found him like that. He has also started throwing fits, and kicking his feet when I pick him up to re-direct him from a hazardous activity. I know all of these things are normal behavior, we were just spoiled with my daughter's personality because she and my son are SO UNBELIEVABLY different. There could not be two children whose personalities are different. (Except my little sister and I, we are incredibly different also). I guess I stop re-reading New Moon (I have to make sure I know every single detail before the movie comes out) and pull out my copies of What to Expect for Toddlers and The Girlfriend's Guide to Toddlers.

Grammar Nazi's: Is it terrible two's or terrible twos?

Changes

I mentioned to my mother last week that I felt like Thursday (of last week) was the first day of the rest of my life. A little dramatic, but I think its kinda true. See, last Thursday, Princess started Kindergarten. Big kid school, not just preschool anymore. On top of that, she started in a great school and is in the Spanish Immersion program. Yep, she's hot stuff! This will be her school for the next 6 years (and hopefully the Prince's too, when he is old enough!). Not only that, but the kids in her class will be her only class for the next 6 years. That means if she has problems with a kid, or I have problems with a parent, there is no getting away from each other! I am very excited and nervous about all of this. This school requires alot of dedication from both parents and kids and to tell you the truth, I am kinda overwhelmed. It has been exciting to know that my oldest is starting a new phase of her life.

One thing that also comes with this new phase, is a new schedule for the Prince and I. We are all getting up earlier, and it is back to just my boy and I at home during the day. It has been nice though, to run errands with only one child and to get to work more often. We are all still adjusting to getting up an hour earlier than we have been, so I have had some tired babies at my house lately. Ben started school last week also, so we have had lots of changes! Ben is going to school for his EMT Basic, which will make him much more desirable to Fire Departments in our area. I am so proud of him for doing this, because Ben doesn't do school. He is probably the most intelligent person I have ever known, but school is not his thing. Most schools and classes are not structured to keep his attention. Its a BIG deal that he is going back to school and I am bursting with pride!

We planned on spending our first weekend of the school year relaxing and prepping for a busy couple of months. We had absolutely nothing planned for the weekend. However, God had other plans. Ben and I ended up spending a good portion of the day on Saturday in the ER due to a very painful kidney stone that Ben had. Thankfully, it was not nearly as bad as his last kidney stone and he is feeling much better.

This week is the first full week of school for both Ben and our daughter. I have a feeling they will both be exhausted this week! I will be spending a day training for my new second job with FCS. I am excited to start this new opportunity and am thankful to be able to help contribute to our household.

All in all, I still feel like, at least this last week has been the start of a new life for us. We are all taking on new opportunities that will change our lives in different ways, all for the better. I am excited to see all of the different blessings these will bring into our lives!

Bunco

Tonight was the first night of my new bunco group. If you know me in person, you know I like to be bossy and am so excited to be "in charge" of the bunco group! One of my bff's, Holly and I decided to put a group together and we some how managed to get 12 great girls, some married, some single, some childless, some blessed with children, and all different careers. We also managed to make sure that there is not a large group of friends/colleagues in the group. Before tonight, there was not a single person who knew everybody. In my last group, 7 of the girls worked together or were close friends, and they kinda dominated the group. It ended up being not very fun!
We had so much fun tonight. About half of the girls had never played before, and one of the newbies won 3 different prizes! I hosted the first month, so I had a good excuse to do the cleaning I never do until I am having company (cleaning the baseboards, dusting, wiping down walls, etc.). Since my husband is about to start back to school and will be gone alot, I am trying to make sure I have some regular activities with other women. I have a tendency to stay isolated, because I work from home, and I will realize after a couple of days that I have had zero social interaction! I have also joined a book club that I am really excited about! Over the next 4-5 months, I am also going to work on forming deeper relationships with some of my friends. Not all of my close friends have children, so its harder to get together.
I would love to hear from other work at home or stay at home moms or even work away from home moms about how they keep up their friendships and social interactions! Leave a comment and I will get back to you!

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless WednesdayCan you resist this?

Not Me! Monday

Here we go again. I have not been having a battle of wills with my husband over who would pick up the trash that was left on the back deck after our 4th of July party. I definitely did not let trash sit scattered all over my deck because he said he would pick it up (prior to the dogs tearing 3 sacks of trash apart).

I have not broken my own rule of showering every day simply because I was too busy too shower. And I discovered that my hair looks clean and cute in pigtails! Not me!

I am not incredibly behind on my work. I have also not wished that school was starting again and have definitely not wanted to throttle my daughter on more than one occasion! August cannot come fast enough!

Be sure and link to MckMama with your Not Me! Monday post!

You know the rules, head on over to www.mycharmingkids.net to get the button and post your own confessions.

I did not take the kids for ice cream and french fries at 5:00, which is way too close to dinner time. I also did not seriously consider ordering more fries, I LOVE Braum's french fries!

My bedroom is not still filled up with all of the furniture I shoved in their to clean up the house before our 4th of July party. I am also not dreading opening up some of the closets in the house that I shoved more stuff into.

When my sister in law came over to lay out in the pool and I told her I would stay inside and get stuff done, I was not weak and ended up going outside to join her and also get some sun. There were definitely not too many "and"s in that previous sentence. And I did not get a little too much sun!

At our 4th of July party, my awful, horrible, and mean spirited neighbor (yes, she's that bad!) did not call the cops on us for doing fireworks. The police men that came did not think she was as pathetic as we do and felt bad for us having to live next to her!

Thanks for reading!

Lately

Well, I haven't been doing very well at keeping the blog updated on our daily happenings and have had a 1,000 things I wanted to blog about, but then forget or never get around to it, so here are some highlights from the summer so far.

May was a super busy month for us. Here are some pictures from what all we did that month!

Cadence had her dance recital.
My aunt Joyce got married and The Princess was her flower girl.

Callie, Ben's cousin also got married.


We celebrated Mother's Day at my house with my mom and sister.

Ben and I took my sister and her friend with us to see Ben Folds at the Cain's. My sister has loved Ben Folds since I introduced her to him 5 years ago but has never gotten the chance to see him. For those of you who don't know my love of Ben Folds, I walked down the aisle to his song, "The Luckiest".
My friend Holly also had her first bridal shower in May, for her upcoming wedding in July.
We actually had even more events in May than just this, but these are the important ones (and the ones I have pictures of!). May was truly one of the busiest months we had ever had. The Princess also graduated from Pre-K and had a Spring Fling at her new school. Now its time for me to work on a post about what we did in June. And get ready for the 4th of July party we are having today!

Father's Day

Father's Day is always a bittersweet holiday for me. Since my dad was killed when I was a child, I only remember celebrating Father's Day for my grandpa. Its a day when I am reminded that my dad is not here. It always makes me sad, but as I have gotten older, it has become more wistful than actually sad. However, now that I have kids, I am sad for them for what they are missing out on. I don't have alot of memories of my dad, but I know he would have been an incredible grandfather. Thankfully, my kids have a wonderful grandpa in my father in law. In fact, my brother in law's father died before he and my sister in law got married, so their kids and our kids only have one grandpa. We have told him that he has to be the best grandpa ever since he is all both sets of kids have! And he is! But, on days like this, I really miss my dad and really wish he was still here on earth. It makes me think about how different my life would have been if he would have been around. I know that was never God's plan for my life, but I still wonder about it sometimes. I know its not up to me to understand God's timing. Its just hard not to wish things had been different. I have always believed that one of the reasons that Ben was the right person for me was because he has such a great dad, and God knew that I needed a father figure in my life. I am so thankful for him. I am also very thankful for my uncle CurCur (Curry) who was my father figure growing up. On this day, I hope that all of the wonderful fathers and surrogate fathers know they are loved and appreciate. And daddy, I love you and look forward to the day when I can see you again!

Dear So and So

I saw this on a blog I read and thought it sounded like a fun way to vent your frustrations. Lets try it out and see how it goes.

Dear lady at the Cricket store,
It was very un-cool of you to run in the minutes they opened the doors and get the coveted first in line spot, even though myself and 5 other people had been there waiting for 15 minutes longer than you had. You should learn some etiquette.
Thanks, woman with the boy in the pink stroller

Dear Princess,
When mommy is trying to nap on the couch, please refrain from continually taking the pillow off of my head (yes, I sleep with a pillow over my head!), and asking me questions I have already answered. No spongebob, no friends' house, just let mommy sleep!
Love, Mommy

Dear Mr. Wright,
You need a new sense of time. Please stop telling me that a quick errand will take one hour and then be gone for 3 hours. It makes me want to strangle you.
Love, your incredibly patient wife

Dear mom and sister,
Please stop putting me in the middle of your fights. You both confide in me and its too hard for me. Leave me out of it!
Love, Amber

That felt good! I may do that one again!

Not Me! Monday

WARNING: THIS POST IS WRITTEN BY AN ESPECIALLY CRANKY MOMMY.

I did not waste 30 minutes of my day talking to a women who argued with me about what my organization does. Seriously lady? I think I know what our beliefs are a little bit better than you do.

I did not take 2 tylenol pm last night when I went to bed, even though I was totally exhausted, because I had a headache and I wanted to be able to sleep through the night. I did not have a tylenol pm hangover all day today.

My daughter did not back out of another VBS this morning with a friend, while the friend and her mom were waiting for KK in our driveway.

I do not feel as if my children are punishing me for being gone all weekend by being whiny and clingy. I also did not have one of the best weekends EVER!

I am not about to put my especially cranky son to bed an hour earlier than normal, to save my sanity and help him feel better.

I am not mad at my husband because he accidentally lost 6 years worth of files and half of my pictures when he was re-building our computer. I know it was an accident, but he didn't lose any of his stuff, did he?

That's all the bitching I am going to do for now. Hope your day was better than mine!

Also, on a horribly sad note, I ask that all of you pray for the family of Courtney, a friend of my little sister's, who was killed in a car accident. She was 15 and her 17 year old sister was driving. Claremore Daily Progress has the story on the accident. I hope that you will all also remember that cars are deadly weapons. Please remember that just one moment of texting, not paying attention, etc can cause you or someone else to lose their life. (I do not know the details of what caused the accident and am not implying that anyone was irresponsible. This is just a reminder.)