For the last four weeks, I have been doing something that I was honestly not sure I would ever do while my kids were young. I have been looking for a full time, 8-5 job. I have been working 3 jobs from home, but it was just not cutting it. At first, I came to the decision to pursue a full time job because of necessity. I was so terrified of this. Once I came to the decision that it had to be done, no ways around it, I have felt alot of peace about it. When I was younger (before I had kids), I always said there was nothing wrong with daycare. I started daycare myself when I was 6 months old and stayed until 10 years old. I enjoyed it and made my oldest friend there. I have no bad memories of day care. But when my first child was born, my thoughts changed. I just did not see how I could do it. This mental block has kept me from doing what has probably needed to be done for a long time. I am glad to be over it!
I have been actively applying for jobs for 3 weeks now. Unfortunately with my degree, you really need to have a Master's to be able to do the things you dream of doing when you are an undergrad, so that was kinda a shock to my system. (I won't even start on how my advisor and professors failed to mention this!). I had an interview last week for a job that I basically had, but it was just not a good fit for my life right now. It is a great job and so needed, but not for me. It was hard for me to let the job go though, because it was the only one I had even heard back from! This week I got an interview for a different job within the same organization and 5 mins into the interview, I knew this job would be great for me! When I left, they told me I should hear on a second interview, if I got one, in a week. That night, I checked my email to find that I got a second interview for the same week! I am beyond excited and hope this means that they were as pleased with me as I was with the opportunity. I am secretly hoping that they offer me the job on the spot on Friday, but I know that is probably far from realistic.
Even though a year ago, I never would have forseen the changes I am going through and definitely would not have seen them as something I am looking forward to or even enjoying, I am. God is great and I have never felt closer to Him than I do right now. I feel 100% confident that I am on the right path and taking the right steps. I know the big changes have just started and will get harder to handle, but I am ready. BRING IT ON!
Now I am struggling with my child care situation, but I know that this will also work out the way it is supposed to. I believe that God knows our life before we live it and I just have to have faith and stay focused on Him and simply live. Its odd to be content while living with a lot of turmoil, but that is a very apt description of how I feel right now. I also have never realized what incredible people I have in my life. I am so blessed that I cannot even believe it sometimes!
Here's hoping for an "I got the job!" post in a couple of days...
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