Father's Day

Father's Day is always a bittersweet holiday for me. Since my dad was killed when I was a child, I only remember celebrating Father's Day for my grandpa. Its a day when I am reminded that my dad is not here. It always makes me sad, but as I have gotten older, it has become more wistful than actually sad. However, now that I have kids, I am sad for them for what they are missing out on. I don't have alot of memories of my dad, but I know he would have been an incredible grandfather. Thankfully, my kids have a wonderful grandpa in my father in law. In fact, my brother in law's father died before he and my sister in law got married, so their kids and our kids only have one grandpa. We have told him that he has to be the best grandpa ever since he is all both sets of kids have! And he is! But, on days like this, I really miss my dad and really wish he was still here on earth. It makes me think about how different my life would have been if he would have been around. I know that was never God's plan for my life, but I still wonder about it sometimes. I know its not up to me to understand God's timing. Its just hard not to wish things had been different. I have always believed that one of the reasons that Ben was the right person for me was because he has such a great dad, and God knew that I needed a father figure in my life. I am so thankful for him. I am also very thankful for my uncle CurCur (Curry) who was my father figure growing up. On this day, I hope that all of the wonderful fathers and surrogate fathers know they are loved and appreciate. And daddy, I love you and look forward to the day when I can see you again!