No Heartbeat

Today is the first day of living with a miscarriage. No heartbeat. How does a baby look like a baby and grow like a baby not have a heartbeat? The doctor said it was recent, the baby measured exactly where it should be. Does that make it easier or harder? We have not told KK yet, what are we supposed to say to a three year old? Do we just wait and see how fast I can get pregnant again? Will I always be scared of losing all subsequent pregnancies? I hope it happens soon. Waiting to physically lose a child that is gone, although it is still inside of you will be torture. You never realize how painful it is, you hear about people having miscarriages alot, statistically 30% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage. I wanted this baby for so long. At times it seemed like we would never have another. And now this one is lost.