Friends?

This weekend an incident happened that left me feeling incredibly betrayed and in shock at how I was treated by two of my close friends. I am not sure if either of them read this, but I will keep the details at a minimum to protect their privacy. I would like to think that this was a misunderstanding, but when no one answers your calls or returns them, you realize that you are being avoided for a reason. I was and am terribly upset, I have been friends with these two a long time and I gave up something very important (tickets to go see Jerry Lee Lewis) in order to be with them. Then I was ditched and I turned down many other plans for this one event. It has been a long time since a friend has hurt me as bad as this did. If you guys are reading this, I am incredibly hurt and confused. If it was a misunderstanding, then you should have answered my calls or called me back. I am not sure where to go with this, especially because with one of these girls, this is not the first time and I feel like I have gone out of my way to try to do things with her, only to get hurt. I think I am done reaching out.

the perfect blog

Over the last couple of weeks, I have thought of a dozen or so different blogs that I wanted to post, but never managed to find the right amount of time to post the "perfect blog". So, instead of being a perfectionist, I finally realized that my main goal for this blog was to journal, and journaling is not perfect. Today is the Friday after the 4th and I have been off work since Tuesday. I started work today ready to go and get lots done, but then I realized I was alone in my suite today. Usually this is fine, but the last three days I have worked, Cindy has been in the Tulsa office helping out, so it has been quiet in my suite. I guess the silence has gotten to me, because I have had a hard time concentrating. I hope once this blog is done, I will have enough off my chest to get busy until time to go get stuff ready for our garage sale tomorrow. This will be our second garage sale of the summer. I started putting stuff aside for a garage sale in December when I found out I was pregnant, in order to make room for a new baby. So I have had boxes stacked in closets and rooms through out the house all year. After this garage sale, everything that is baby related or child related, will go the Pregnancy Center and everything else will go straight to Goodwill. My mom is also using the garage sale to clean out her house and the storage building she rented after my grandma passed away to keep her stuff in until we had time to go through it. I know how hard it is to get rid of my grandma's stuff and I am proud of my mom for being able to do it!
I finally heard back from my doctor today on the tests I had done last week. For those of you not up to date, off and on for years, I have experienced some health problems, some minor and some not so minor. Two years ago, I was finally diagnosed with Raynaud's, which causes the blood vessels in my hands and feet to constrict and basically my hands get no blood flow. It is incredibly painful. At the same time I was diagnosed with this, I was experiencing ulcers in my mouth and blisters on my hands and feet. I was tested for Lupus and other connective tissue and rheumalogical disorders, but nothing came back. I was back at the doctor in March with a sore throat that had blisters that lasted for over 2 months. Once again we did tests, but I was told this time that sometimes you can have symptoms for years before the lab work catches up. The doctor and some friends with Lupus advised me to keep track of my symptoms. So, last week, after 3 weeks of painful TMJ, I was back at the doctor. This time I had a list of every symptom I had had recently. This time the doctor suggested I get tested for Celiac's disease. People with Celiac's are basically allergic to glutten, but when your body tries to protect itself from glutten, it does so by not allowing any nutrients to be absorbed, which causes intestinal damage and alot of the symptoms I am having (joint pain, back pain, TMJ, headaches, IBS, miscarriage, infertility). My test for Celiac's came back with one of the markers to be positive. Now they want to schedule my for an intestinal biopsy to for sure determine if I do have Celiac's. I am thankful that I have finally found doctors who will listen and are taking steps to help me feel better. However, if I do have Celiac's disease, it is a life style change. Glutten is in soo much food! However, I have realized that if I do have Celiac's I need to take it seriously because if my body is not absorbing nutrients, it could cause more miscarriages, birth defects, lymphoma, and could explain why I had the miscarriage and why I have not become pregnant yet. It is alot to digest, so I am trying not to worry too much about it yet. But I am going to watch my diet closer from now until the biopsy. The two biggest things I am worried about with having Celiac's is beer and pasta. These are two foods that are not commonly offered in a glutten free variety, especially at restaurants. I don't like liquor, I am okay with wine, but I genuinely like the taste of beer. I usually only have one or two at a time, but I do crave the taste. It does look like you can brew your own gluten free beer, maybe I will have to get Ben started on that!